“Do not rise out of obligation.
Do not rise because of feared consequences.
Do not rise because you think being tough makes you smarter (it doesn’t)
Decide to rise because you want to expand.
Decide to rise to explore your place in the universe.”
As I delved into Danielle Laporte’s The Desire Map, I was filled with “ah-ha” moments, page after page. As I continued to work through this book, I felt like I was being let in on life’s secrets, one after another. Why was this the first I was learning about this way of thinking?
Since this summer, I’ve been lucky enough to serve as an assistant for Connie Aramento, founder of Soul Sync Wellness. Connie has based a portion of her business on Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map, a soul-setting (as opposed to goal-setting) book that encourages readers to chase after their “core desired feelings” rather than the goals they have manifested in their own heads.
Speaking as a person who thrives (or at least used to thrive) on to-do lists, goal lists, bucket lists—you name it, this concept was foreign to me. The idea of developing feelings more important than goals was pretty frightening, and maybe even a little too idealistic. But by happenstance (and I think for a very distinct reason), I started working for Connie and was introduced to this new philosophy. And quite honestly, I was transformed.
Ultimately, your “core desired feelings” become the guiding power behind how you live your life. So it’s important that you truly connect with each one.
You can chase your goals until the day you die. And you may realize that many, or even most goals, are created out of superficial obligation. Whether that obligation is to your job, another person, or your own mind, they may be something you feel you have to or should do. But where does that really get you? What happens when you do achieve that lofty goal you’ve been chasing all year? That’s right…you move on to the next one—possibly forgetting about yourself and others along the way.
The basis behind The Desire Map and Connie’s work is teaching people to ultimately identify around five “core desired feelings” that are unique to you. These are the feelings that make you feel like your fullest and best self. It sounds like an abstract and vague concept—until you begin the process.
When we are focused on our internal desires rather than society’s belief that in order to be successful we need to sacrifice what we really want to do, we are on our way to a more gratifying life. We become open to new experiences, to new people. We see people in a different light. We see them for more than their jobs, their appearances, or their successes.
Sure, there is a time and place for goal setting. But what’s even smarter is soul setting. You may still may want to record goals, but these goals will be more intentional after you have developed your “core desired feelings;” it is what you feel after you accomplish them that you are reaching towards, not necessarily the goal itself.
The Desire Map book, including both the reading section and the workbook section, took me months to complete. I also attended one of Connie’s Desire Map Retreats, where I was able and encouraged to take the time necessary to identify these feelings. The retreat was an enlightening experience that connected all the dots for me. It solidified for me that in order to grow and make progress in our lives, we must take the first step in giving ourselves permission to expand.
As cliché as it sounds, this lifestyle is a way of living the life you’ve always desired. Discovering your “purpose” is not found in a secret formula or in a chant you must perform. It’s all within you. And I don’t know about you, but having the power to decide to live a fulfilling, authentic and intentional life, is all the empowerment I need
A lifestyle blog about veganism, mood swings, & other chatter.