“You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea,” my friend told me recently.
Of course I can’t be, I think to myself. Yet somehow I think I try to convince myself that I can be. I have done that for a long time, and still get caught up in trying to please everyone around me. Not surprisingly, I have found this to be both exhausting and humanely impossible.
For most of us, it’s the main thing we look for in life, yet it’s the thing that we doubt the most - human connection.
We try hard to impress others, make friends, find partners. Yet real connection finds us, not the other way around. This is a slow realization for me. It’s kind of silly to put so much control into my own hands when I’m competing against the universe. All we can do is put out the energy that we wish to get back.
When we put on a facade, we will not attract the right people. We will not connect. And worse, it can become damaging and toxic to be in this space. I have been in both places, and there is such a huge difference in how I feel about myself when I am with the “right” people compared to the “wrong.”
It is when we are in our own element that we discover who we are meant to. I’ve found that I’ve been able to be myself when I’ve created a space that allows me to do this. And it’s no coincidence that people I connect with come floating by at this time.
The timing of the universe is so crazy. Some things take forever, yet others happen without us even noticing. Those chance encounters are so magical. And the ones that we’ve waited our whole lives for are too (how did I not know you sooner?). Neither timeline makes much sense and that is what is so cool about unpredictability. Some of the most important people in my life I have met have been through such random, unforeseen circumstances. You just never know.
The fear of not being liked or not being accepted is common, but when you think about it, it’s irrational. I am a soul on this earth just as you are, and when we work hard to discover ourselves, we are simultaneously working on putting our individual wavelengths out there. The people who share your energy will latch on. There is something bigger out there that is connecting you and me to them. Believe that.